how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
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John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
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Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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