OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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