it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
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