New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
