he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
