I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
this just has baby written all over it
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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