I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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