i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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