Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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