He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
