Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
