I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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