I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
