I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
