shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize