Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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