low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Will exercising make me less horny?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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