U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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