is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
