Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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