You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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