Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
