Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She said her name was "party"
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Life is so much better after having sex.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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