i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.