So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize