i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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