They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
