I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
