she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
