He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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