the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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