we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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