i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
this is an emotional support booty call
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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