I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
