Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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