I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
