So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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