he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
