No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
