Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
