I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
