Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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