it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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