I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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