Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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