try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
