Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
