Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
