she smelled like a LAN party
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
