fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm jealous of your bromance
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
