I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
