He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
