just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
