Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
