she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
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Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
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Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?