i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.