yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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