i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.