Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.