come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
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the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
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remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.