So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize