Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
