I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
