haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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