dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
