I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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